Protest in Downtown against domestic violence on women

At the age of 12, Sahar found herself in a situation not uncommon for victims of domestic violence in Lebanon. She have been subjected to all manner of abuse from her father, including RAPE. Sahar tried to escape or do something but she couldn’t. With her first attempt at escape having produced only more trauma, Sahar decided to take matters into her own hands and ran away. No one has heard from her ever since.
In Lebanon women don’t have law against domestic violence. Nasawiya is there to help them. There are no official statistics in this regard; however, the people working in such associations point that 12 women at least die annually as a result of the husband’s violence and the silence of the society. Nasawiya is a collective of feminist activists. By feminists, thy mean individuals who are committed to gender justice and equality. By activists, they mean individuals actively involved in gender justice work. Some Nasawiyas work full-time in women’s rights; others volunteer a few hours a month. Some are students and some are professionals in different fields. At Nasawiya, they do not have a traditional Non Governmental Organization(NGO) structure of boards, staff, and volunteers. They are a member-driven collective where everyone is equal and in support of each other’s activism. They believe that They’re stronger together. Feminists and activists in Nasawiya don’t like to see anyone being abused, they want women and their children to live in safety. Nasawiya hears women’s problems and try to help them get out of it.
”The prevalence of unveiled and glamorous women in Beirut can create the impression that Lebanon is more liberated from patriarchal cultural attitudes than neighboring countries, but that’s merely an illusion” said Nadine Moawad of Nasawiya. Nadine has a BA in English Literature at American University of Beirut, she’s an activist, feminist and blogger working on gender justice in Lebanon. Moawad and other feminists and activists in Nasawiya spend a lot of time thinking of women, and how can they help women in Lebanon get their total rights. Moawad would love to see women in Lebanon to have rights as men, especially against domestic violence and martial rape. ”Why can’t they have rights like other women in europe countries or other countries where everyone has equal rights? Are women in Lebanon different than men? When will this discrimination stop?” she exclaimed.
Some people in Lebanon think that women will never be like men. Moawad wants to prove to those people that this is wrong and women can be more powerful than men and they should have their total rights just like any other man. “We are sold a lot of fake freedoms that raise Lebanese women under the impression that they have freedom to go anywhere and the freedom to dress the way they want to” said Moawad, and she added that women in Lebanon can do nothing if they were raped and hit by their husbands, and there’s no law that would help them against domestic violence. Feminists like Nadine want this in Lebanon to be stopped as soon as possilble, it’s about time to see equal rights between men and women.
Will women in Lebanon get their total rights anytime soon? A draft version of the law to protect women from family violence was approved by Lebanon’s Cabinet in 2010, but was declined in parliament, mainly due to the objections of Sunni and Shia authorities. Moawad is suffering to make this law accepted, in Nasawiya they have done hunger strikes, lots of riots, and many other ways to stop this, but they didn’t get what they want yet.
People in Nasawiya think that abusers use a certain type of behavior to establish real power and control over women through fear and acts that include using serious threats or violence. The abuser believes that they are entitled to control someone else. ”Believe me, if a man abuses his wife once, he will never stop and he will certainly do it again and again, the only way to stop this is to go out of this and runaway.” said Moawad, and then she added that less than 10% of abused women report family violence. Moawad said:“And my personal guess would also be that the number increases every year because women are not getting out of violence relationships at the same rate they are getting into them. And I would also guess that this number merely covers physical violence. That leaves me with a ridiculous number.’’
            Moawad and Nasawiya wants to put this to an end. ”I don’t know if I still have hope for women to have their rights in this country, but I will keep on trying” Moawad said.

Mohammad Dia

LAU Tribune contributor

“Be tough!”, my coach screams. Saad Jradi is a thickset, fast football player and our coach at Football Club Beirut (FCB).  He leads and we humbly follow. The most important goal of any football player should be strength, endurance and speed, according to Jradi. Although, as a woman, from a physical point of view, it is not easy feat. But, he inspires and we persist.

FCB is a club founded by Mr. Rabih Idriss, who has coached at the American University of Beirut (AUB), International College (IC) Varsity coach and Hariri High School. This club started in 2008 with one football team, comprising 18 players ( IC Varsity team at the time). Over time but it evolved into a large group of more than 120 players. They all had a passion for football and were looking to strengthen their skills. So the club started and flourished.

Team Picture

Playing in a league creates a  competitive spirit within each player, a driving force for success and advancement. It is a competition series, in which every team plays twice against all other teams  in the league. One game takes place on the home court of every team and the other takes place on the “away” court, which is the home court of the opponent. Every win gives the team 3 points, a tie gives each team one point and a loss obviously does not bring anything.

The inclusion of female teams in the leagues has finally bestowed greater importance to women athletes at universities.  A few years ago, Lebanese women did not have the chance to participate in any national level competitions because leagues were only for men.

The women’s football league in Lebanon for the 2013 season recently concluded.

Six teams participated in the Lebanese women’s league and the competition was fierce.

Sadaka, winner of the Lebanese women league for the past 6 years are considered the strongest. The Girls Football Academy (GFA) (including the strongest players from around Lebanon and the best youngsters from schools and institutes). Both of these teams have been competing for the first position since 2012, but I think it is safe to say that Sadaka play smart, GFA have skills. They are followed by FCB, of which I am a member. FCB finished the league with third position. This has been a significant improvement from 2012, when my team has ended in last position with a mere 3 points. Athletico Beirut, Al-Arabi Tripoli and Shooters are three other members participating in League in 2013.

Having the usual fun

Pride and contentment would describe what I have felt since the conclusion of the series, where we ended with third best position.  For a team that was the weakest last year, it is a massive improvement.

Of course, winning games doesn’t come without its dues. My teammates and I worked very hard and stayed committed to practices held once a week during school nights and 3 times a week in summer in the Kaskas field. In fact, Kaskas has become our second home. We lived and breathed football over the past months.

When attending the games, one can easily recognize that the different teams bring an eclectic set of skills to the league. For instance the FCB played ‘smart’ this. We effectively changed out strategies, depending on the weakenesses of our opponents. It helped us stay in the top rungs.

Our practice sessions also changed from time to time. We focused heavily on strengthening our shots, passes and defense skills to improve our overall performances on the field during the official games.

The proudest part of our achievement was that, for the first time in three years, FCB reached the League’s semi-final round. This is an outstanding victory for the team and the morale of upcoming footballers because it opens doors to continental level tournaments.

I spoke with Coach Jradi about the improvements he has witnessed this season. His responses were encouraging to say the least.

“Everything is going as planned. Our goals were to reach the podium this season which means occupying one of the first three positions in the league. We are one step away from reaching our destination and hopefully we will be able to set bigger goals next season,” he elaborates.

Unfortunately, FCB could not reach the final round of the cup as they lost to the Tripoli team (3-2). To reach the finals will be the goal for next year and one that looks achievable given the huge progress this year.

But, winning isn’t the only thing we care about in the team. The most amazing aspect about FCB and one that I have come to appreciate and cherish is that we all consider ourselves a ‘family.’

Captain Tamara Jurdi (also a member of the AUB Futsal team) explained to me that the dynamics between team members are evident and its biggest strength.“The strong team bond is evident both on and off the field,” she point out.

Our teammates are our fellow sisters and our coach is our big brother figure. We built these relationships, not just through bonding with each other but also whilst fighting with each other, screaming at each other, insulting each other. Its all part of being family!

Thankfully, after all this time spent with each other, the beds we shared in Sweden during the Gothia Cup tournament, the late night fun we had  actually helped us have each others back, perhaps the strongest suit of any team player and the foundation of the team itself. We are here for one another, regardless of the circumstances – good, bad and the in-between.

Knowing these amazing football players and being a part of their family has been a blessing in disguise for me.

We make sure that every new player who joins the team feels at home. Our hearts are open to everyone. No one should feel left out and all are treated as equals. Its our driving motto, and so far, our recipe for success.

tumblr.com- fairytale gone bad-

Kuvalina Anastasia

LAU Staff

Its every little girl’s idyllic image: to try on the dress of a princess, to find her prince charming and live in a castle in a faraway magic land, happily ever after. What storytellers preserved in their fairytales, whilst trying to  impress upon the minds of young girls, the ideal princess, is quite in contrast to the  conventional after-wedding daily routine. Here the grown up role of the princess collides with a harsh reality where the “prince” is constantly at work or laying on a sofa awaiting his supper with an expression of universal gratification on his face. In real life, the mothers-in-law usually takes up the role of the step-mother.

Bottom line is that unprepared princesses are faced with a bleak reality that is difficult to embrace whole heartedly, when they have been fed the dream of the ideal wedding and the happily ever afters, their entire childhood and into their adolescent years.

Try and remember your own childhood. If you are a girl, who was your favorite character – The little mermaid from the underwater world, or Cinderella in her fancy dress, or maybe Snow White with her friends the 7 dwarfs? Or maybe you prefer Beauty who tolerated and tamed the Beast, wining over his heart?

Have you ever tried to analyze, what actually hides behind these ‘seemingly innocent at first glance,’ characters.

ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com

Cinderella

The kind fairy godmother has decided to help her god daughter, sending her to the ball beautifully dressed, hair brushed, make up done. You, having grown up with this perfect dream of a night, also imagine that your hour of triumph will come and you will meet your date at a noisy party.

In preparation, you will adorn a designer dress and step out of a car, flawless and with your ‘charioteer’ dropping you off at the perfect spot of limelight. Your prince at once will pay attention to you and invite you for a dance. But wait, have you stopped to think what kind of prince you will find in such a place? Probably an ardent ‘fan’ of expensive drinks and beautiful women. So, don’t be surprised then, that in his princess list you wont be exclusive or maybe not even on the top of the ‘list.’ Also note that neither a fairy godmother nor leaving behind your crystal shoe will help. He simply wont come after you. There are too many fish in the sea. You will realize that endurance, patience and a dose of self reality are your best friends in this situation. Do not rush on the first prince. Estimate your actual chances of victory.

gemmabeaven.blogspot.com

Snow White

Having learned from the magic mirror, that Snow White was the ‘fairest of them all,’ her malicious stepmother who was very proud of her own looks and vain to the point of obsession, decided to do away with her charming stepdaughter. Having learned about the plan, the poor girl runs away into the dark forest in order to save herself. There, in the woods, she doesn’t get lost or hurt, but on the contrary, makes friends with amusing dwarfs with quirky personalities: Doc, Sleepy, Sneezy, Dopey, Bashful, Grumpy and Happy. When the queen learns that Snow White is still alive, she tries to extiniguish the competition at any cost. She uses a suffocating lace of a corset, a poisonous hair comb and last but not least a poisoned apple. Eventually the queen achieves what she wants and Snow White falls into a long eternal sleep.

Snow White spends days in a beautiful crystal coffin while her companions, the dwarfs, watch over her. One day a prince passes by and falls in love with the girl (love at first sight of course). Snow White wakes up from the kiss of the prince that breaks the spell. The beautiful girl comes back to life, she and the prince celebrate their marriage and everyone is happy.

If you have any such silly fantasies or variations thereof, floating around in your head, think about the absurdity of the situation. First, only necrophiliacs fall in love with dead princesses, and second, the girl dreaming of a fantastical prince to possibly pass by and fall in love with her. In real life if you are one of those dreamers, be ready to something that resembles a behind the stage cat fight between Miss Universe contests, while the prince rides away with the lucky ‘winner.’

It is obvious that sexist fairy tales with ridiculously impractical scenarios have somehow permeated reality – where women want to be swept off their feet and look like ethereal princesses when they wake up every morning!

appetiteforcreation.blogspot.com

Beauty and the Beast

Love and compassion can change a man – this sums up the gist of this fairytale. There are girls with enviable persistence who choose guys who are simply not compatible and then consume themselves with a maniac passion of ‘changing them for the better.’ Sometimes their choices are dysfunctional, abusive men who are simply not worth the time or effort. Monsters to men – it is a fairytale approach and one that could have grave consequences for the women involved.  To completely change a person is extremely difficult. Generally, Pavlov’s dog is, more likely, an exception to the general rule. Therefore either love him the way he is or find yourself another.  Then maybe you can actually live happily after!

funnypik.com

One Thousand and One Nights (Arabian Nights)

Smart story, clever plot. It manages to lure the best of us, especially in this part of the world. The essence of this fairytale centers the vanity of a Persian king who discovers the infidelity of his wife and executes her. In his state of grief, he decides that all women are the same, so he marries over and over again, only to execute his wife the next morning. This goes on, until he marries Sheherazade. The clever and beautiful girl catches the king’s interest with her eccentricity. She is astute and understands his psychology and plays her own game to save her own life and that of her family. Every night she entices the king with fairy tales. Sheherazade knew well, that a primary weakness of men is their curiosity. The basis of their relationship was based on intrigue. The wife tells the king a fairytale each night and stops it at the most interesting juncture with the promise to continue the next night. So the king awaits, letting her live, so he can quench his curiosity.

This scenario lasts a thousand and one nights. It apparently took this long for Sheherazade to finish the stories. Meanwhile, she gives birth three times and gets half of the kingdom as a gift from the King who starts to see her differently. What does this fairy tale inculcate within us? First, Sheherazade was stood out because of her individuality. She did not impose herself and was not persistent.  She always knew when to stop and when to give the next portion of juicy details. Most importantly, she sensed the mood of the king well enough to keep him going.  Meanwhile the king understood her beyond her physical beauty. He came to appreciate her  sharp mind, wit and compassion. To achieve the same results, it is necessary to have patience and wisdom.

almostzara.com

The little mermaid

This is probably the most honest and forthcoming scenario amongst fairy tales. The little mermaid falls in love with the prince that she once rescued in a storm. For the sake of this love she sacrifices a lot. She is not afraid to leave home or to make a deal with the malicious sea witch, exchanging her voice for legs instead of a fish tail. The little mermaid passes through all these tests just to get a chance to meet the prince. But did the prince ask for these sacrifices from her? Apparently not. Eventually, he falls for the malicious sea witch who would enchant him with the little mermaids voice (that now belonged to her).

So what lesson does this fairy tale teach us? That it isn’t necessary to give up all you have and love and yourself for the sake of being with someone. In the process you might risk remaining with nothing.  Before making sacrifices for a guy from another world stop and think whether such sacrifices are necessary. Is it better to live at the bottom of the ocean, where all is silent, peaceful and familiar, where no one asks for any heroic feats or sacrifices and you’re simply loved for who you are.

Fairy tales do not usually come true simply because life is not about happy endings. It is a continuum with phases and stages and challenges and overcoming them.  But, having a closer look at some of these stories that are loved and cherished across the world, explains the unrealistic expectations and ‘ideal’ but cliche scenarios that we concoct in our heads when it comes to love and romance.

LAU Tribune Staff

These are the people who take the risks. Equipped with their protective gear, cameras, papers, pens and adrenaline, war correspondents are often willing to go to great lengths to cover a story.

While most look for a way out of conflict, war reporters are constantly looking for ways in. Whether it is ethical to enter a country of conflict through illegal means and tacit agreements remains a source of constant debate in the field with a myriad subjective views. Chaos in times of conflict is inevitable. Some journalists might use this chaos to achieve their agendas, while other correspondents feel that  maintaining professionalism in their reporting entails following a strict code of conduct.

In conflict, reporters need to be aware of a number of different factors that will affect their coverage and many of them are a combination of journalism ethics, their roles as conveyors of ground realities and the technological means of effectively relaying their messages to a global audience.

Demystifying these factors was the primary motivation of the collaboration between the Lebanese American University (LAU) and the AFP Foundation in hosting a ‘Conflict Reporting and Social Media’ convention on campus grounds. The conference that comes as a part of a joint project between the Agence France-Presse (AFP), the European Union and BBC Media Action targeted students from the Arts and Sciences department from several Lebanese universities. Lebanon was the first stop of this global initiative that aims to inculcate a strong sense of ethics amongst students training to become journalists.

European Union Ambassador

The LAU administration realized that it is important to introduce the students to the major difficulties of conflict reporting. “We were approached by the AFP,” Dr. Yasmine Dabbous, assistant professor at LAU, said. “We immediately embraced the project since it would expose the students to debates and speakers that are relevant to today’s world,” she added.

Dilemmas regarding ‘objectivity, ethics, values, principles, what to cover and what not to cover, should journalists tell the whole truth,’ were discussed at the conference by experienced journalists and media experts.

“The conference was quite good and fruitful,” said Alaa Bashir, a 23-year-old journalism student at LAU. Students like Bashir enjoyed the panel discussion on “the practical and ethical aspects of conflict reporting” that was led by Dabbous. “The discussion about ethics, morals, objectivity, and subjectivity was inspiring and challenging for new journalists,” Bashir added.

However, the 20-year-old journalism student Hiba Salami didn’t find this discussion interesting.  Being exposed to the conference’s main topics and such dilemmas before, Salami felt that she didn’t benefit much from the event. “We already studied most of the things that were brought up in the discussion,” she opined.

Dabbous explains that although such topics are not new and have been discussed several times, “the people [guests] who gave their opinions are people with experience.” She further explains that “the issue of objectivity was specifically tackled in the context of conflict reporting.”

One of the main guests during the convention was the Bureau Chief of AFP, Beirut, Sami Ketz. In a descriptive and poignant speech Ketz captured the audience while talking about his 30 years of experience as war correspondent in the Middle East.

Bureau Chief of AFP Beirut Sami Ketz

“Sami Ketz is one of the guests who had the most impact on me,” the 22-year-old Christine Saifi said. The three journalism students, Bashir, Salami and Saifi, agreed that the Bureau Chief’s speech was very influential.

Ketz explained that the curiosity to “tell extraordinary things to people living ordinary lives” is the utmost important factor a journalist should have.  “Go and see are the words war correspondents use most often,” Ketz said. “I’ve never heard a journalist, photographer and a cameraman tell me they’re going off to be a witness. I go [cover] to tell the story; we take risks out of curiosity, out of desire to tell the story,” he added.

“He [Sami] had a lot to say and the most word that took my attention was curiosity,” Bashir said.  “We should be curious to reach our goals even though we are putting ourselves in danger,” he said.

“Robert Holloway also left an impact on me,” Saifi said.

“September 11 was one of the most beautiful clear days that I’ve ever seen,” Holloway recalled. The director of the AFP foundation vividly described his experience at the scene of the 9/11 attacks, that clearly left an impact on him.

“I started walking up street Second Avenue eight blocks to the UN and a plane flew overhead quite low,” he said.  But, Holloway found it strange that the plane was flying in a straight line over Manhattan. “Planes don’t fly over Manhattan certainly not over that aptitude,” he added.

For Saifi, Holloway impacted her because of his awareness of the chaos that was surrounding the media and the city. He managed to check his sources before publishing a report. “He distanced himself from the event and chose to fact check under times of stress and fear,” she explained.

AFP correspondent Robert Holloway

Being the only English speaking AFP correspondent in that area, Holloway had to report the crash. Walking for hours and reporting and interviewing people covered with toxic dust and, he worked on pure adrenalin. “During the incident a tremendous amount of rumors were flying around New York,” Holloway explained. “Our immediate temptation was to speculate the number of deaths,” he added.

As he recalls the scene of the incident, Holloway mentioned the conspiracy theories that engulfed the media. He pointed out that journalists must be very careful on what they report, the tone they convey, as it will affect the general public’s perception and conclusions they draw since “conspiracy theories often actually work to the benefit of repressive regimes.”

Another important guest at the conference was Lebanon’s Ambassador of the European Union, Angelina Eichhorst. She also discussed conspiracy theories in the context of how Lebanon and Arab countries assume that the European Union is conspiring on the Middle East.

“Respect for human dignity, liberty, democracy, equality, the rule of law and respect for human rights are the values of the union,” Eichhorst said. She also focused on the importance of dialogue and putting away weapons, remarking that “it’s pretty smart to say we agree to disagree without fighting and killing each other.”

The last session emphasized the importance of social media and citizen journalism. “Those who blog or tweet or broadcast anything on the Internet stand up,” asked Alice Morrison, BBC Media Action leader of the Media Neighborhood project. More than half of the attendees stood up. But, when she asked if they called themselves ‘citizen journalists,’ only a few remained standing.

Hanin Ghaddar, managing editor of NOW Lebanon, explained that there are three kinds of citizen-journalists. “There are accidental citizen-journalists those who happen to be there at the right time in the right place,” Ghaddar said. “Those who try to advocate a human rights issue and citizen journalists who abide to certain professional standards and work at certain institutions,” she added.

On the other hand, Michel Touma, Assistant Editor in-Chief of the L’Orient Le-Jour, limited the difference between journalists and citizen journalists to the commitment that the former have to their jobs. “A paid journalist work day and night and all his life to have all the means to reach and inform, while citizen journalists they do so, but they are not committed to the job,” he said.

Yet, for people like Faysal Bsat, a 23-year-old business student at LAU, someone is said to be a citizen journalist when they are participating in reporting a certain incident. “I personally think that citizen journalism is very effective, for you’ll see a more sincere perspective then professional journalists in Lebanon that are mostly politically affiliated,” Bsat said.

Amar Kawam, a 19-year old Business student at LAU, agrees with Bsat’s definition of citizen journalism, but disagrees on their ‘credibility.’ “I don’t think citizen journalists are a reliable source for news because they lack the proficiency of a professional journalist,” she said.

Reem Al Salem, UNHCR Senior Regional Public Information Officer, stressed on its importance by elaborating how the UN connects with their audience through social media, whereby they can influence their audience and get the message accross a wide spectrum simultaneously.

As the conference came to an end, students were able to “establish networks with those people [guests],” Dabbous said. She explained that this conference offered the students with new opinions. “After the conference some might have decided that they wanted to complete their Masters, others were more excited to become war correspondents or even no longer want to get involved in conflict coverage,” Dabbous added.

Students like Saifi walked away feeling that they learned new things about conflict reporting.

“I am more aware of the difficulties of conflict reporting and the importance of fact checking,” Saifi said. As for Bashir he benefited from meeting with professional and experience journalists. “They give me courage to continue my job and have no doubts,” s said.

]]> http://tribunelau.com/2013/05/for-the-sake-of-better-coverage/feed/ 0 http://tribunelau.com/2013/05/how-to-detect-a-liar-lecture-at-lau/ http://tribunelau.com/2013/05/how-to-detect-a-liar-lecture-at-lau/#comments Fri, 17 May 2013 06:38:43 +0000 preethinallu http://tribunelau.com/?p=1695 By: Dalia Elali

Habib El Khoury is a body language expert and the owner of  Ocean Events, a Lebanese company that specializes in  training and development of individuals in body languages. This is essentially a way of helping people with their personal and business goals. The Department of English Language Instruction organized this lecture by Habib El khoury.  Titled “Nonverbal Communication: How to Detect a Liar,” the event was held on the 26th of April at the Lebanese American University in Sage G01.

“Just like your verbal language, your body language is a language on its own.” says Habib ElKhoury. “Dr. Paul Ekman is the person behind this science.”

Paul Ekman is a psychologist who pioneered the study of emotions and facial expressions. Charles Darwin theorized that emotions were both biological and universal in his book titled The Expressions of the Emotions in Man and Animals, published in 1872.  Anthropologists increasingly believe that facial expressions and their meanings are culturally determined and not universal. Through a series of studies, Ekman found that there are six universal facial expressions – Anger, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness and surprise. The first four were first recognized by Darwin.

These expressions are universally recognized no matter which culture one is from. In the 1990’s Ekman expanded the list of basic human emotions and split them into two categories – positive and negative. These emotions include amusement, contempt, contentment, embarrassment, excitement, guilt, pride, relief, satisfaction, sensory pleasure and shame. However, these emotions are not encoded in the facial muscles. Ekman also contributed  to the study of why human beings lie and how one can detect a liar using solely what he refers to as the study of Micro expressions.

“Every human being speaks three different languages. We speak with our heads, hands and body. 5% of what you say consists of words, and 20% is your tone of voice.” There are three types of body language. Positive body language creates a non threatening relationship with people. The negative body language intensifies the present relationship with a person and the Neutral body language has little to no effect on either party.” explains Mr. Habib El Khoury.

“There are two types of observable eye gestures, the dilated pupils and undilated pupils. The pupil becomes dilated when a person experiences intense emotions such as excitement or arousal. The pupil also becomes dilated when a person lies because that person experiences intense emotions similar to excitement.”

“The pulse detector is no longer used in detecting lies instead, instead they are using the eye detector because it detects pupil dilation and the eyes never lie no matter how good of a liar one is.”

The lecture had to be cut short due to the little amount of time left. Habib El Khoury wrapped up  by talking about the three types of lies.

“There is the White lie which consists of micro expressions that are very subtle and cannot be seen unless one is a lying expert. The grey lie is not entirely a lie, it has some truth in it. In such a case, the facial expression is a half expression that reveals your lie. As for the black lie, it reveals the full facial expressions.”

Khoury ended the lecture by providing tips on how one can detect a liar. For instance, he gave us an example of Bill Clinton during the Monica Lewinsky scandal when he states that “I did not have sex with that woman, Mrs. Lewinsky.” When he said that, his finger was pointed towards people and his eyes were averted meaning, he does not believe a word he is saying because his eyes did not match his words nor his pointed finger. Clinton also uses distance language and refers to Monica Lewinsky as “That woman” and “Mrs. Lewinsky” to create a distance between them as if the affair never happened.

Some effective ways to detect a lie is to notice if a person itches his nose, eyes or neck. This mainly happens due to a rush of adrenaline to the capillaries in the nose, causing the nose to itch. Note that these things don’t always indicate that a person is lying simply because have to take into consideration one’s habits.  Sometimes, people scratch their nose, ears or neck because they are simply used to doing this, not because they’re lying. Another way to tell if a person is lying  is to look at their mouth. A person who is lying is more likely to cover his or her mouth with a hand or to place their finger near the mouth like they are “hushing” themselves to prevent the truth from coming out.

By Christine Saifi
LAU Tribune staff

“When you learn that the difference between releasing the secret, and keeping the secret, is the difference between life and death, then you will surely keep it, even as a kid,” says May Shigenobu.

Born on March 1, 1973 at Fouad Khoury Hospital in Beirut, May lived a total of only 4-5 years with her mother Fusako Shigenobu, founder of the Japanese Red Army (JRA) – an unusual childhood to put it mildly. But, the number of years did not matter to May.  “The care and love you feel in that short time is enough to maintain a good psychological balance and feeling to move on,”  the striking 40-year-old explains.

Despite her mother’s consistent absence and lack of a fatherly figure, whom she chooses not to talk about for security reasons, May did not feel deprived of love, care, happiness, and attention. She was constantly prioritized and cared for by the ‘comrades’ whom she called family.

From the day she was born, secrecy was an intrinsic part of her daily existence. May Shigenobu lived the first 28 years of her life with forged identities, secrecy, fear, instability and at times confusion. It was only in 2001 that she was granted  the Japanese citizenship after her mother’s arrest near Osaka in Eastern Japan. That arrest changed May’s life drastically and with permanent consequences.

This 40-year-old story has been the center piece of a two month long exhibition at the Beirut Art Center, titled “Now Here Then Elsewhere” by French artist and filmmaker Eric Baudelaire. His film, “The Anabasis of May and Fusako Shigenobu, Masao Adachi and 27 Years without images,” is a narrative based on May and Masao’s experiences.

“Contrary to what is thought of and said, the JRA was founded in 1974,” and until then it was Japanese comrades volunteering for the Palestinian cause, like the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP), explained May in a one-on-one interview for the LAU Tribune.

From Lebanon, the JRA organized and engaged in a number of attacks, most famously were the Lod Airport attack in 1972 and The Hague attack of 1974.

As she recalled her memories, May lowered her head, closed her eyes and smiled delicately saying, “I lived a normal childhood however, there is one thing that I missed, and that’s not having cousins.”

She went on to explain that she felt deprived on occasions, largely because of the importance given to large, extended families in the Arab world where cousins often become best friends. But, May never knew her blood related family members before she moved to Japan at the age of 28.

She was raised as a single child and the kids she played with, were children of other ‘comrades,’ whom she called her brothers and sisters.

Courtesy of Eric Baudelaire at the Beirut Art Center

To avoid every possible threat, May and her family had to regularly relocate their ‘home’ almost every month. This meant leaving behind yet another place she has called home for that period of time. The most difficult part was leaving behind her friends, her school, and her memories.

For each new place she lived in, May needed to have a different name and identity, an original birth certificate, and an entire new family history.

As a child, May strived to maintain secrecy, not an easy feat for a child. However, May knew better than to ask twice about anything. If her question was not answered the first time, she immediately understood that it was for her own safety. To May, “not knowing was sometimes a bliss.”

“Seeing the other kids being targeted by the Mossad, made me more aware of the dangers,” she elaborates.

As time passed, May viewed her mother with increasing fondness and admiration. “I look up to her as a mentor not just as my mother. She is tough, loving, caring and patient,” she says.

“From her, I learnt that whatever hardship you go through, you should not change what you believe in and that all people should be equal regardless of their color, religious and ethnic backgrounds, or financial capabilities,” adds May.

Despite her respect for her mother, May holds her responsible for not effectively explaining the Lod airport attack that took place on May 30, 1972. She believes that “more effort was needed to strongly have the JRA’s side of the story survive history and time,” so that people today would have known both sides of the story.

The importance of this explanation became clearer to May as she grew older and was constantly faced with criticism for being the daughter of the founder of the JRA.

Her experiences starting at a tender age gave May the ability to think critically and never accept anything at face value. Having lived in continuous danger and in the Palestinian camps made her realize the importance of a life that is filled with hope.

She says with utmost confidence, “I am glad I had this life because I learned important things.”

To this day, May continues to fight for the Palestinian cause, using her current profession – journalism.  She believes that knowledge is a weapon and the media has the power of informing people. In her opinion, if people and governments have enough knowledge then they can distinguish between truth and lies. “Iraq, Afghanistan, and Libya could have been avoided if people and governments were better informed,” she says.

“State terrorism against Palestine will only end when people use their knowledge to make their governments go the other way and change,” explains May.

Despite seeing and experiencing the bleak realities of Palestinian refugees a majority of her life, she remains optimistic. May views the upgrading of Palestine’s UN status to a non-member observer state in 2012 as “a very symbolic move towards showing the world that it is time for Palestine to have its own state.”

“However, a braver step needs to be taken against the United States and Israel,” she concludes.

LAU Tribune staff

After hearing several people rave about Cro Magnon’s delicious food, I was eager to give it a try. Three family members of mine and I decided to go there for dinner. The fancy restaurant that was creating a big buzz is an American steakhouse located in Zaytunay Bay. As I entered, I realized it was a posh restaurant where smartly dressed waiters accompanied customers to their table and pulled out the chairs for them.

After being greeted politely, seated immediately and given the menu, I was convinced that I was going to have a wonderful meal. The decor was elegant and modern with dark wood and soft lighting. Table placements were sophisticated with a bright candle as a centerpiece. I skimmed through the menu and couldn’t help but notice all the mouthwatering dishes available. A selection of beef, oysters, lobster, caviar and treats from the sea were present. As I am very fond of steak, I was content to know they had different kinds including fillet mignon, sirloin, rib-eye and small mignon which are flown in weekly from Nova Scotia. A variety of sauces such as béarnaise and peppercorn sauce accompanied the steaks. They also offered poached, mashed, fried and stuffed potatoes along with sautéed mushrooms and crunchy asparagus as condiments for the main courses. Cro Magnon is quite pricy. The price of steaks is hefty, from $40 to $80, depending on the type. However, a cheaper lunch menu is also available. It features three courses for $45 per person.

They also had a variety of wines which are carefully crafted by their master sommelier and they include European and new world vintages. They also offer an extensive selection of premium single malts and Cuban cigars. Other types of alcoholic beverages are available like whiskey and champagne and non alcoholic beverages like soft drinks and sparkling water.

My family and I ordered our main courses, side dishes and drinks. As we chatted while waiting for our food, we realized guests who had come after us were being served. We waited for approximately 45 minutes until our orders arrived. This frustrated all of us as we expected better service from such a posh restaurant.

My plate of fillet mignon looked spectacular along with the crispy fried onions and creamy, mashed potatoes. To my disappointment, the first bite was not as good as I expected it to be; the steak was dry and bland. However, everything else was excellent, from the creamed spinach to the dishes of potatoes and caramelized onions. I barely touched my steak though it was what I looked forward to the most.

Immediately after finishing our main dishes, the waiter served us marvelous deserts as an apology for late service. They offered us a chunky strawberry cheesecake, a caramelized crème brulee, a large piece of chocolate cake with hot fudge sauce oozing from it and an ice-cream stuffed profiterole with a chocolate glaze. It was simply heaven on plates. I could not refrain from eating them. The memory of the deserts melting in my mouth still lingers.

On the whole, I was quite disappointed with the service as the food took so long to come. Even though I enjoyed most of the meal, the key element being the steak was far from delicious. I feel as though the restaurant is overrated and pretentious simply because it is luxurious. If one considers going to Cro Magnon, they should take note of the prices because it is heavy on the wallet.

He was sitting there silent, with nothing to do. In one corner of the room, covered with a blanket, he was looking around at the walls and omitting sounds, as if he was enunciating vowels. He has no friends, for he never went to a school or communicated with people.

“Adam” — not his real name — is not mute, neither did he suffer any major accident when he was younger. He was simply unwanted.
When his mother knew she was pregnant, she panicked. She was passing through a difficult stage of her relationship with her husband. She was suffering with deep depression. The first thing she thought when she found out she was pregnant was: “I don’t want this baby”. She didn’t tell her husband, or anyone. She went to a doctor but he refused to help.

“It’s a murder,” he responded. She tried to tell her best friend, “but when I was about to speak, I felt that she won’t cope, so I stepped back,” she says.

“With all do love I say, Adam is one of my sons,” says the mother

She had heard about some private clinics that would help her do the job illegally. So she went about inquiring about the prices and procedure. The cheapest asked for 800$ – an amount she did not have.

“The range of the operations’ cost is between 800 and 5000$, and I could not ask my husband for such an amount without giving a logical reason,” she explained. She decided to do everything by herself. She looked up on the internet the names of anti-progesterone pills and bought some. After using them, she started feeling severe pains and vomiting, and her health drastically deteriorated. She was feeling very sick but relieved, for she thought she got rid of the baby.

But, the pregnancy survived the pills. Her husband took her to the hospital, and was very happy to know she was pregnant and that the baby was saved. But it was not what she wanted. She didn’t want to know the sex of the baby or any details. Her husband was unaware of what she was trying to do. She shuddered to tell him.
“I tried many other ways. Whenever I heard about a procedure that would help me abort I tried it, but Adam refused to let go,” she says, hiding her tears with a smile. She lowers her head as she narrates her painful story, and looks at Adam at every pause, obvious regret flashing across her face.

“The problem is that people have no mercy. I thought of telling my family when I was pregnant, but I was sure they won’t accept it; no one will accept it,” she continues to explain her ordeal.

According to Lebanese law, abortion is forbidden in all cases except when the mother’s life is in danger. Any person who performs an abortion will be subjected to one to three years, and sometimes five.

She knew about this law but hoped that if religious texts allowed abortion then the law could be ignored. She believed that there must be a way out. She went to a Sheikh and begged him to ‘legalize’ her abortion. He simply refused.

“Although my relationship with my husband improved,  I was in a difficult period, psychologically. I cried every night. Everyone was happy with the baby, except me”, she adds.

After a few months, Adam arrived. He was not like most babies. He didn’t respond to any action.

“It was a shock. When I knew that Adam’s nervous system was partially damaged, I went to a number of doctors to ask about the side effects of the pills I took and the actions I did. I had one conclusion. It was all my fault,” she says crying with her hands on her head.

A few days ago, Adam celebrated his sixteenth birthday, but his sweet sixteen wasn’t sweet. We bought a cake and sang to him. His elder brother and sisters gathered around him but he looked at everyone in the same way, someone who is completely oblivious to what is happening around him.

The remorse filled mother recalls her mental state, when she was pregnant.”I was not myself back then. I know that no one will ever forgive me for what I did; especially Adam. I destroyed his life. Look at him. He can’t talk, can’t eat, can’t walk, and can’t do anything by himself. If I was given one wish, I would wish that I appreciated the gift God has given me, and delivered Adam normally with thanks.”

There is plenty of psychological evidence that women in fragile states are better off not going through with pregnancies, or at least provided with professional support, especially if they have a strong will against having the baby. Dr. Fadel Shehimy, a psychiatrist, says that people in a sensitive psychological state, and especially in the case of demanding abortion, should not be judged, but treated properly. If she went to a psychiatrist, he/she would have helped her get over her crisis and gave birth properly. The problem in our society is that people fear social judgment and blame, so they face everything by themselves, of which can worsen the situation.”

“What has been done is done, and I can’t go back in time,” she takes a deep breath, “I can’t leave him alone at home and we’re getting old. Everyone loves him, but he needs a full-time care.” Adam’s case is sort of taboo at home. Nobody talks or asks about it. They simply know it as a fact and accept the reality.

Hana Fadlallah, with a Doctorate in Sociology supports Dr, Shehimy’s point of view and adds that “our society faces a problem of duality: people are accepting relationships of unmarried couples, demanding the rights and freedom of women, and are letting go of a lot of traditional values that have been inherited for so long, but when a serious situation occurs, everyone goes back to his close-minded ideas and judges people without listening to them,”

But with this duality come many double standards.

“Each one should think about a solution before accusing the other; if she knew that people will feel her pain she would’ve felt better about opening up, and they would have had helped her not to harm herself and the baby,” explains Fadlallah.

“With all do love I say, Adam is one of my sons,” says the mother at the end of our conversation. She concludes  with an English phrase: “He is just  special edition.”